I’ve hated tuna sandwiches for about 26 years. In all that time I’ve never found that anyone, anywhere could make anything close to a palatable tuna sandwich. To be fair, there is a small possibility that my mother made them perfectly, with really fresh ingredients and just the right balance of everything, which would explain me liking them in my earliest years. She died at about the same time my longtime constitutional disagreement with tuna sandwiches began, so that could explain a lot. Still, I have a feeling hers were as bad as anyone’s — probably made with tuna from a can, loaded with mayo, and often left in a warm plastic bag to be eaten sometime later in the day.
But now I’m suddenly aware of two particular things I missed in the last 26 years. First, I’d never had a tuna ‘wrap’ as an alternative to the typical sandwich. My earliest attempts at enjoying a wrap of any sort included a mix of avocado, sprouts, tempeh and the enthusiastic encouragement of a white Oregonian with dreadlocks (wtf) busily telling me the whole wrap experience would change my chakra balance, cleanse my colon and somehow contribute to freedom in Tibet. That naturally made me so excited about wraps that I haven’t tried one since about 1998, which is probably when somebody finally figured out how to make good wraps, and they began selling like hotcakes (not surprising since the pig-in-a-blanket hotcake concept was kind of the original wrap of suburban breakfast franchises, but that’s another story). In any case, I was too traumatized to try another wrap, and it seems I may have missed out on some pretty good stuff.
The second thing I hadn’t tried in a tuna sandwich for 26 years is also the most crucial element: fresh ingredients. I know, that’s pretty bloody obvious. But seriously, why would I go out of my way to source new ingredients for something I’m pretty sure I hate? Nobody had ever put fresh food in my tuna sandwiches, so I assumed all tuna sandwiches tasted like crap.
Then came my accidental tuna experience from Moomah! I finally decided to take a chance after my wife prodded me for months to try a tuna sandwich as an alternative to my daily heart-attack-baiting salami feast. So when I went into Moomah for a cup of coffee recently and saw tuna on the menu, I ordered it without reading the details or thinking much about it. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?
Surely you can imagine my horror when I opened the to-go box at my desk later and found not simply a tuna sandwich, but a tuna wrap. Flashbacks of blonde vegans with dreadlocks flashed through my head as I resolved to at least taste it. Adding to my horror as I raised the wrap to my mouth, I noticed, just a split-second before biting, that there was something odd about the ingredients. But it was too late to stop. I bit down and tasted.
And it was good. Oh my fucking god it was good.
Rushing like a starved coyote to take a second bite, I realized what was so peculiar about the ingredients — they were fresh, and crispy, and flavorful. No wonder the box mysteriously smelled like tuna and vegetables when I opened it! How was I supposed to know that tuna sandwiches weren’t supposed to smell like warm mayonnaise?
So, Rob likes the Moomah Tuna wrap.
It’s also worth noting that the good people at Moomah do another 12,639 other things very well. It’s just that the Tuna is what really blew me away. So if you’re in Manhattan, head to 161 Hudson Street (map) and get yourself something delicious from the cafe.
And if you don’t happen to be hungry at this particular moment, then check out their web site for details on all the other great things to eat, make and explore. Among other things, Moomah offers art projects for kids, beautiful handmade clothing (full disclosure: some of those clothes are made by my wife), and pizza bagels (which are rapidly making me a fatter, happier, and possibly more childish person).
